Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Henry's Diary by Hung Danh Phung

21/1/2010

Total confusion, indeed! I remember not to do anything wrong to him. Or did I? I cannot tell. Well, was that considered as a profound insult for him? Understanding why I did not, he did not say anything, showing anger he did not, aggressive he was not. The next morning he came to school, for the first time I saw him showing great grief. An antagonistic feeling for him as he always laughed and smiled in a certain way. This kept on going for sometimes.

"Oh dear." I thought for a moment when he approached, glanced at me closely “Good morning" he said firmly. Surprisingly, for the first time I heard him saying “Good Morning” to me. I was very glad to actually see that he was not furious with me at all as he is an aggressive, violent chap.

At the end of school, I trod down the old path leading to my house. Suddenly, I heard sounds of shoes clicking on the path behind me. I turned and in my wildest astonishment I saw him running to me as fast as he could, finished with a fist into my belly. With a single shriek I fell down into the ground. He continued assaulting me with kicks and punches. How much painful I felt! Understanding him I did. My saying was with no intention, became an embarrassment for the young lad. His fury took control of him. “Help!” I cried out in distress. Once, twice, thrice… no one came. Fortunately, my classmates, who were stopping by at the old path stopped him just in time, prevented him from causing much more damage.

Many days later, I had to stay at home. Yes, indeed for my backbone was nearly broken because of the fall. He stopped by my house and said sorry for what he had done and hoped that I would forgive him. After the visit, he left… I forgave him.

21 comments:

  1. welp, i can see a Hung's version of Edgar Allan Poe! x)

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  2. The introduction sounds kinda EAP-ish.

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  3. Sally, what does the word EAP-ish mean?

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  4. I don't really understand your story, Hung. So let me summarise it and you'll say if it's right or not, OK?

    Exposition:
    -I'm in total confusion!
    -He was not at all agressive or angry, and I didn't do anything to him. So why??

    Rising action:
    -He came to school saying hello to me for the first time
    -I went home
    -He randomly attacked me, and I was like 'wtf', but I sympathised him!
    -Despite my sympathy, I cried for help !! But no one came. "Oh dear..."

    Climax:
    -My classmate came and stopped him.

    Falling action:
    -My backbone broke T_T
    -I had to stay at home for days

    Resolution:
    -One day, he came and apologised. I, for some random reason, decided to forgive him. He moved to another place.

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  5. Wait, I think I've spotted an irony in your story, Hung. You must be soooooo good to be able to use irony in your story!

    "aggressive he was not"
    and
    "as he is an aggressive, violent chap"

    Why does one thing say this and the other says the opposite?

    Just what I think!

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  6. A good attempt in writing in the same style as Poe, Hung. Your descriptions could have done with more detail though, and you do sound rather like Yoda at times due to your rather awkward word ordering.

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  7. I guess Yoda is a character in Star Wars, am I right?

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  8. Sally please try to lower the amount of comment on my post.

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  9. Moreover your previous posts were not written by you,Sally I assume. It must be you Khuong at last. I spotted your writting style.

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  10. Hey how could Khuong possibly have my password?

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  11. Well then that's yours to think about,eh?

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  12. Indeed. You can assume, but it doesn't mean your assumptions are always right, Hung.

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  13. i agree w/ sally, there are some unclear points in your story but it's a nice try to write in a style of a famous writer anyway.

    Well telling someone to "lower his comments" on your post is kinda rude since he is not spamming but just simply expressing his opinions.

    Plus don't take things for granted. i don't think Khuong did this because this person spotted the climax wrong. I think the climax should be when that violent chap attacked you, is it right Hung? In my opinion, this is just Sally being random ;]

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